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I should probably try to update more. There's probably a lot I need… - who, me?
April 2007
Mon, May. 29th, 2006 03:33 pm
I should probably try to update more. There's probably a lot I need to say but for some reason, lately, I just can't seem to get motivated to sit and write anything. This weekend is a Bank Holiday weekend.. which means we have Monday (today) off work. I have spent the last two days in bed with a fever running as high as 103 degrees. To say I've felt like shit is probably an understatement.

It all started on Saturday night. I drove down to Winchester (about one and a half hours away) to see a 'friend' who had txted me and said did I want to come down and.. erm.. well yeah, okay, it was a booty call. And yes, I'm whore-y enough to actually drive for that long just for some good sex - I should probably mention that he's 21, and looks like a young Justin Timberlake. But I digress... So, I drove down there and we ended up sitting in my car, in Sainsbury's carpark, while he told me all about all the problems he's having and how he never lets anyone get close to him. So of course, I listened and talked, and tried to show him that all his problems have a solution and that all he needed to do was cut himself some slack and tackle them one by one and everything would work out. So I drove for an hour and a half to do what I do best... I'm not sure what that says about me to be honest but I'm bloody sure it has something to do with Karma.

So.. the point I was trying to make... as I drove home I started to feel quite unwell - enough that I wasn't sure I was actually going to make it home. My head ached, I was cold and shivering, all my muscles hurt, my neck was stiff, and my skin was sore to touch. I got home, and pretty much went straight to bed. The following morning, Mum and Dad left to go to Cyprus for a week on holiday at 7am. I was still feeling pretty rough. I said goodbye without getting up and proceeded to feel crappy all day and all night. My fever finally broke around 10am this morning and I now feel 100% better than I did. I still have a nagging headache, and my throat is still sore when I swallow but I'm feeling so much better. Thankfully.

I think the most depressing thing was last night. I was laying in bed, and I'd just taken my temperature (103). I'd been drinking as much water as I could because it just felt like I was dehydrated all the time and all I really wanted was some Vimto. Of course, I was too ill to go to the shops and as I sat there, I realised there wasn't one person I could call who would come over and be with me. Adam was supposed to come over last night and watch movies.. however, we've been having some issues and I was fully expecting him to cancel on me.. which, of course, he did earlier in the day. Good job I suppose.

There's so much more I should update on.. so in order that I can actually be bothered to finish this entry, I'm gonna go with the bullet-point update:

* I got a job in March working for a Freight Company. Initially it was through a temp agency but they basically begged me to switch to working directly for them and offered me more money to do so - so I did. It's only a temporary contract (ends in July) but it's £15,000/year pro rata and allows me to look for a proper career.. which I'm trying to do. The job isn't too boring and the people are great. It's so much fun there so that's a blessing. But the company is being taken over by another company so there's lots of uncertainty at the moment. It's kinda stressful for everybody but to be honest, makes thing very interesting...

* Adam and I seemed to be going really well. Things seemed to be moving along nicely, and it seemed for a while that it might be moving in the direction I wanted it to. That all changed recently when we had a few deep and meaningful conversations that didn't go so well. Things now are very strained indeed, and he's basically avoiding me. This does not bode well as we are supposed to be going to Blackpool on Friday for his birthday. There's four of us going. I'm not really looking forward to it now. I have reason to believe that he's lied to me - he told me he had feelings for me but that he wasn't ready for a relationship and then I found out by accident from someone else that he told them he was looking for a relationship. If he'd just told me that he wasnt interested in me in that way then we could have avoided all this awkwardness. Now I fear I'm going to lose him as a friend too.

* There are two jobs I need to apply for. They're both at the Maudsley Hospital in South London. I don't think I'll get either of them, but I really need to start applying for as many jobs as I can.

* I've applied to volunteer with The Samaritans. I think this will be excellent experience for me and I hope they accept me.

* Despite having a job I'm still incredibly short of money. How does that happen? It's not really very fair. I'm even considering getting a second job in the evenings *sigh*

* I'm sure there's more stuff I needed to talk about but I can't remember for the life of me what it is... Hopefully now I've updated that I'll be able to get into the swing of updating again. I'm sure if I had internet access at work then I would update more frequently... but alas, I'll just have to try harder in future :)

Current Mood: sick sick


Mon, May. 29th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)

aw, i hope you are feeling better. if i were closer, you know i'd stop by.

maybe it's true, when ppl say that they 'aren't looking to get into a relationship' what it really just means is they aren't looking for that with you. *big sigh* this is what i've come to understand anyway. it would be easier if people could just be honest from the get go. or maybe he didn't know then, and it changed over time and just seems really really mean to suddenly be that honest?

*hugs* nonetheless.

Mon, May. 29th, 2006 10:15 pm (UTC)

It's nice to hear from you, the other day I was wondering what you were up to. Sorry things have gone bad with Adam. :( Hope you get well soon!